....due date

So today was date nite and it was very much needed with the stress of this deployment we needed a break ., we went out to eat and then a movie and it was nice to laugh and cuddle like we were dating again ., he gives me butterflies when i dont think its possible to still have them he does. i love my husband more than i could ever put into words., we annoy the crap out of eachother at times., but most of the time we dont even act like weve been togother for 5 yrs we just love eachothers company and blah ., were still head over heels for eachother and im proud of that., im proud hes my best friend still., im proud hes helped me become who i am today., i am honoroed to be his wife.
haley said the boys were perfect for her (idk if she was lying or not haha) but im glad they were bc they are a handful i know there not perfect angles but i love my kids withevery thing my heart and soul have to offer., gah! when dakota tells me he loves me talk about my heart melting when troy gives me hugs ahhh love., now they are daddys boys so i know this deployment will be hard on them., but with the great friensd ive been making and have made here i know i can make this easy for them., i have so many plans for them as much as they love there daddy they love there momma too:) so call me crazy but with brad leaving soon its very hard to get in the holiday spirit i have decided not to go crazy on decorations like i do sometimes., so a tree and stockings and ill call it even, call me a bad idc i am still going to make this a GREAT christmas for the boys and myself. its not the deoc that makes the holiday!!



did i mention that i am grateful not to have any drama in my life right now., i have meet some amazing new friends latley its going to make this deployment much easier to have such a great support system.

..New friends

Troy.Brad.dakota.Mommy
So with the hubs leaving too soon., i am started to enjoy playgroups and meeting new ppl in my kids range makes the stress of being alone so much more better., it was very hard for me to feel like the only one here who isnt going to have her hubs but now that i am putting myself out there to meet people i know im not alone which is a great feeling and with some of the great ppl here i know this deployment will go so fast., But i will not let myself get into that drama scene anymore., so i will not tolerate it., No trashy drama for this momma. :)

Ps i love my husbad dearly and thanks to my friend haley i get a date nite with him on our last weekend togother she has no clue how much i love her right now., words do not begin to describe how much i love this girl. enough to trust her with my babys and thats alot. she is so awesome. Her hubs is coming home soon and alothough im sad about myne leaving i am trulllllly so happy for you haley you deserve it!!


My kids are my world tattoed or not I love them it doesnt define me as a mother:)


My lil helper


He takes my breathe away

..Latley.,

I havent wrote in awhile., seems like a good time to get some things off my chest., latley its been really hard preparing for this deployment which comes up very soon:( I keep tellin myself i am ok., but i know i am lying to myself.., as it gets closer to the day things seem to keep going wrong., Ppl around me are dropping like flys possibly this is all my fault but i highly doubt this. I am not the most easy person to get along with i can be bitchy i know., but i am a good person who means well., I make mistakes really who doesnt? there is no such thing as perfect., since when did someone have to be? Or maybe i attract the wrong kinda friends., Im not totally sure on this bc i love some of them to pieces...So really im not sure whats going on. I do not go around with my nose in the air., or acting better than everyone. when did we all become so unforgiving.?? werent we raised to forgive...maybe i can be to unforgiving ., but i always think being the bigger person and forgiving someone is way easier than being hateful towards them.




Seems like everyone and there mother is doing photography Now days lol., I do love photography i love every single ounce of it., But i am feeling so Un-inspired latley. Sometimes people have a way of making you feel not good enough., or maybe your not doing it the "right" way.I do however get more posotive than negative., I am wondering when it became a competion to see who was the best., This isnt a finish line it doesnt matter who wins., Go out to your shoot and capture the memorys all that matters is what you and your "clients" think. Maybe its time to take a lil break and get re-inspired., or maybe ppl will stop tryin to tear me down (like i dont have enough on my plate)




Today at the park ( a place for kids to play Nicely) this lil boy hit my son in the mouth with a life siber thingy (star wars i belive) anywhos., after poking him in the butt., ya...my friend told him to stop and that he could hurt him., and His mother said he didnt do anything wrong., and i was not mother like bc of my tat on my neck ( when does a tat define you as a mother) i told her that her child hit my 3 yr old., she validated that by saying he was 4. and i went on to say that i would of thought a 4 yr old would know better., but i guess not.., then i was told to toughen up my 3yr old...really!! anywhos lots of things were said. point is if i was a bad mom my kid would of been the one hitting., something to think about!!

...ying&yang

So today was a Great til untill., Ya you know where im going with this one right.! I had a great day with the hubs and kiddos! we went and got a new lens for momma..and toys for the boys..(speakin of which i need to go x.mas shopping) anywhos got the stuff to put the system in the car which was exciting for bradley haha he was like a kid at christmas..., went to the mall had some great food (moes to be exact)..Then got home checked my email and BOOM!! it was bad i am pretty sure i will never do a contest with my photography again...haha! O well its ok its all done now!!Someone make fake profiles to win a contest and i have well over 100 comments on my page of ppl arguing about this..and i sat there like a bug on a windshield while texting my dear friend haley not knowing how to handle this.. but i did! and leave is almost over and time for the hubs to go back to work., so i am thinking and prayin that well go to the beach tomorrow so please sunshine!! I love beach days so Relaxing and great family time...( hawaii tan woot) anywhos i am lovin my new lens..

..strong silent type.!

I had a great day today. soaked up the beach with some great ppl and the sun was out yay (its been rainy). I am still waiting to see some of the infamous waves.., but yet to find one. I am now on the look for a new lens for my camera just not to sure which one i want., its a never ending thing so i guess ill have to own a bunch:).. troy took some more steps today which was amamzing., but made me realize that brad will be missing so much i guess thats why we have internet.skype. and video cameras. I am still pondering the holidays but i know if i let me self get over whelmed with all this stress i will not be making any holiday very fun and ive always said since we are a military family mommy has to make the best of everything for the boys. bc i can handle the stress so they dont need to see me weak. I am there hero after all!! and they are my lil heros and insperations..., brad has always been really strong about everything thats going on. ( and thats been alot) he was playin with the boys and looked at me and said how much he is going to miss them and i swear for me the whole world paused all the stress and fears and idk just everything went away for a spilt second. I am so proud of my husband. He is an amamzing person and father. i am truly blessed to have him in my life!! ..i stand behind my husband 100%!

..its not a destination

..‎"Happiness is a mood, not a destination" ♥ oth
I am not good with words, I am not a poetic when i write..So speaking from my heart is all i got and that is enough for me. so the deployment is coming up around the corner and this realllly sucks. Ive decided to stay in hawaii and that was a very hard choice for us. i am not looking forward to spending christmas alone ( yes i know i have the boys trust me i so beyond thrilled to buy them so many gifts and spoiling them rotten and making it a great christmas) but i want to have my husband home with me., & lots of family and a huge dinner., but only time will tell how i deal with this..everyone keeps givin me there two cents on everything and i appreciate it but we all deal with things our own way. On a different note i am getting migranes all the time now., so my wonderful hubs had been lettin me rest which is a nice change. so he has 4 days left on leave and were planning lots of things in 4 days then just a couple days and he deploys..the days are getting shorter and time is slipping away from me. i reallly hate this.

..its november., in 1 day ..its a month

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love


heard this song today and it keeps playin in my head over and over!!

heres some pics from arkansas