...spechless

..its been a rough Couple days couple weeks i should say i cant describe what im going through cant even put into words., But this is what makes me happy:
O man i just came across these photos from my husbands old Phone :)




Troy



haha asleep



such a happy Kota
ait ...Georgia kota was 1:)
no matter how rough times have been..Hes always been a happy boyy

again..rough times ..hes always had everything

my person

So those of you who know me., Know that i am addicted to Greys anantomy., I mean like hardcore., My friend daisy from back home got me addicted to it and ever since i cant stop watching it. Ive cried laughed yelled at the Tv..a bunch of gasps Ugh and season 7 just started and Phew good already!



This may sound stupid.sapy.silly or pathetic You might even call me a JOKE! But ever since season one i have envyed the friendship on this show meredith and yang! really i wish i had that, i wish i had someone to call my "person" I have never had as much luck in my life with Friendships maybe its something i do or maybe its bc ppl dont get to know me for very long., I have my bad days my good days just as much as other ppl seems like when i have my bad days BOOM thats it im tossed to the side so i know this is just a show but i know ppl in my life who have there person there person to be there when they have a dark day say the wrong things do the wrong things they have that person there to help them to be there the next day after youve done/said the wrong thing bc there person knows how to be there when there down instead of movin on! sounds like a relationship eh? nah! i know one day ill meet that person where the title "bff" or my "person" will really come into play!



Dont get me wrong at all., my husband is my best friend he has been there for me on bad days.good days. when i act 16 again or when im super serious( super serious haha) so in my mind i wonder how he feel in love with me knowing every side of the person i am yet i dont have a true friendship outside of him? Im obvuisly not that bad of a person bc i got him to fall in love with me with lil effort and had 2 amamzing kids and he still loves me! Hmmph think im a joke thats ok but i think every girl wants There friendship on this show!!

Zoo day

went to the zoo the other day with our friend b and her baby girl. altough it wasnt very exciting for us older kids lol., dakota had a blast he knew all the animals even wanted to get in the cages with the wions ( not a miss spell he cant say his L's so its W's) after tellin him he cant he just stared at them. He loved every animal we saw i love how excited he gets over the simple things in life:) and to my suprise Troy was great he loved looking around seeing ppl walk by altough he wasnt very intrested in the animals it was just so funny to see him look at everything in amamzment ;)







i made a vanialla cake that nite added choacalte chips to it brad says it tasted like a fluffy cookie:) the best part about the whole baking expernice for me was sharing the batter with my Kota man He LOVED it i always remember my mom and sis sharin the spoon with me and sayin in my head one day ill get to do this nothing wasmore exciting to me lol maybe its cause im junkie for sweets :) i cant wait to share it with Boys my boys ahh the memories i look forward too!








..I miss everyone sometimes i wish life is magic so i could make wish and go home and wrap my arms around my neices and nephews and give them a million kisses.Show my kids off to everyone back home. Facebook is nice for that. email is great to and the lil i get to skype is Nice but i wuold love for them to experince my kids and there sillyness and see how truly amamzing they are. But for now im soaking it all for everyone:)




This is my friend krystal playin with troy Bug .. i do have some great friends who are a part in my kids life

some days are harder than most

Its gettin closer to my husband leaving no matter how much i try NOT to think of it as a countdown my heart wont let me forget, almost 3 months ago he was suposed to leave then orders got Cut so right when i convienced my heart he wasnt leaving after weeks of gettin used to the idea He got new orders so here were go again., sleepless nites catching my self watchin him play with the boys, thinking of fast a year can go by but yet how slow it is going to be without Him here., I have alot of amazing friends who are going through what i am about to and they are so strong so they let me think this anyways i love you all and no matter what happens i am here for you bc i know the day i kiss my soldier goodbye (not goodbye just later huh babe!) i will have you all by my side.

Our boys are my world when i see them i see a perfect mixture of me and brad i always replay the day dakota was born in my head when i have a converstation with him ( as much as i can with a 3yr old) I love when he says random stuff to me it makes me so proud yet so sad that my baby is growin Up. and Now thining that we have 2 lil boys running around my house is crazy Troy is such a smart/happy baby he looks me all of like were crazy sometimes im sure hearing mommy and daddy and brother talk crazy in his eyes we all do look a bit crazy.


22 yrs old with 2 kids.married and been pretty much what feels like on the other side of the world is crazy.hard. sad but being away makes me so grateful for my 3 boys and how wonderful they are


ps. I love my boys more than anything ever!!!